Thursday, April 21, 2011

Back to God!

Apple Secretly Tracking iPhone, iPad Users' Location




http://www.minyanville.com/dailyfeed/2011/04/20/apple-secretly-tracking-iphone-ipad/

WTF!

She Was So Blonde That She…

… took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

… couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

… can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.

… got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years".

… was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

… when asked what the capital of California was, she answered "C."

… baked a turkey for 5 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

… can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

… hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.

… got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of the tree.

… changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "good up to 20 pounds."

… after losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

Some jokes to brighten your day:

LIPSTICK IN SCHOOL

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem...

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.


There are teachers ... and then there are educators.

Judge: Why did you shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?

Defendant: Your Honour, it is easier to shoot a woman once than shooting one man every week

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split Air Conditioner No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor He is designed to remain Silent indoor...

"Husband is one who is the head of the family, but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."


A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife? After making call he asked how much to pay.

Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free


GOD SAID, "I CANNOT BE EVERYWHERE, SO I CREATED MOTHER".
DEVIL REPLIED, "EVEN I CANNOT BE EVERYWHERE , SO I CREATED MOTHER-IN-LAW "!!


Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in loud discussions during office time. Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened from a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped our boss. They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire.We're going from desk to desk, taking up collection.

"One Trainee asks, “How much is everyone giving, on average?"About 1 Litre"


Friend #1: Are you visiting us tomorrow? Do you need directions?
Friend #2: I'm all set. I have the address, a GPS, and a GPS override.
Friend #1: What's a GPS override?
Friend #2: My wife


Wife : You changed after marriage.
Husband:
I've told you before that I am not interested in Married women.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Perfume


As she stood in front of her primary 5 class on the very first day of school, she
told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her pupils and
said that she loved them all the same.

However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat,
was a little boy named Koko Bassey.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Koko the year before and noticed that he did not play
well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly
needed a bath. In addition, Koko could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight
in marking his| papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top|of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's
past records and she put Koko's off until last. However, when she reviewed his
file, she was in for a surprise.

Koko's primary 1 teacher wrote, "Koko is a bright child with a ready laugh. He
does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around."

His primary 2 teacher wrote, "Koko is an excellent pupil, well liked by his
classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life
at home must be a struggle."

His primary 3 teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on
him. He tries to| do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Koko's primary 4 teacher wrote, "Koko is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest
in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She
felt even worse when her pupils brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in
beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Koko's.

His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a
grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of
the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of
the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she
stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was,
putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Koko Bassey stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she
quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach
children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Koko. As she worked with him,
his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he
responded. By the end of the year, Koko had become one of the
smartest children in| the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Koko became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Koko, telling her that she was
still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Koko. He then
wrote that he had| finished secondary school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while
things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck
with it, and would soon graduate from the university with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained
that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The
letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But
now his name was a little longer....The letter was signed, Koko A. Bassey, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter
that spring. Koko said he had met this girl and was going to be
married. He explained that his | father had died a couple of years
ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that
bracelet, the one with| several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume
that Koko remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They
hugged each other, and Dr. Bassey whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you
Mrs. Thompson for believing in me Thank you so much for making me feel important
and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Koko, you have
it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference.
I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story
so very much, Just try to make a difference in someone's life today?
tomorrow? just "do it". Random acts of kindness, I think they call it.

Find time to laugh... but not at others weaknesses!

I Am touched.