Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Lift
A Kiboga family took a vacation to Kampala City. One day, the father took his son into a rather large building (Workers House); they were amazed by everything they saw -- especially the lifts at one end of the lobby.
The boy asked: "What's this, Papa?"
The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!"
While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a beautiful, voluptuous, 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father turned to his son and said: "Go get your Mama!"
Job Application
This is an actual job application submitted to a fast-food restaurant:
NAME: Greg B
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It was lousy.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
GuluWalk thanks you, and passes the torch
07/06/2011 23:53
GuluWalk thanks you, and passes the torch - 'Yahoo! Mail'
Tuesday, 7 June,50 2011 21:
http://uk.mc295.mail.yahoo.com/mc/showMessage?pSize=25&sMid=…srand=5659499&acrumb=oEYzEu385Z4&pView=1&view=print&enc=auto
GuluWalk thanks you, and passes the torch
From: "The GuluWalk Movement"
To: alibalunywa2@yahoo.co.uk
On Friday, July 1, 2005, Kieran and I went for a walk — GuluWalk.??
We planned on walking for just thirty days to amplify the voices of the ?children in northern Uganda, but you wouldn't let our journey end. For ?that, we'll be forever grateful.
GuluWalk had one goal, to see an end to 'night commuting'. You? accomplished that, and so much more.In less than five years, GuluWalk became a leading voice for peace in ?northern Uganda in over 100 cities and 16 countries, and through a ?global network of volunteers like you GuluWalk raised over ?$2-million for programs that have provided education, opportunity and? peace-building for youth in rural communities all over northern? Uganda.
Through many late nights and busy weekends around the kitchen table, ?and thousands of volunteer hours, GuluWalk continued on a shoestring ?budget and year after year punched well above its weight. It's been an incredible journey for all of us — but its now time for us to pass the ?torch and let the experts lead.
GuluWalk has accomplished what it set out to do, and while we're winding our? campaign down there's still much left to do. Night commuting has stopped and internal displacement is ?near an end, but the Lord's Resistance Army's reign of terror continues in? the region and war-affected communities are still struggling to rebuild their lives.
To stay involved, be a champion for peace and stand up for children? devastated by conflict, we urge you to stay involved in two ways. Be an advocate and lead sustained peace in Uganda by joining our? partners Resolve, and/or stand up for children and join Lt-Gen Romeo ?Dallaire in his mission to eradicate the use of child soldiers through ?Zero Force. These missions are more than worthy of all of our support, and we're proud to be a part of both.
The volunteer-led charity that started all of this, Athletes for Africa, will also continue to grow? and build its programs using the power and profile of sport to ?promote global citizenship and empower the next generation of youth in Africa? You can also stay involved by visiting us there and joining one of our events.
Thank you for your friendship, for your support and for being an unwavering partner in peace.
Sincerely,
Adrian Bradbury
GuluWalk Co-founder
For more information or get get involved with Athletes for Africa please contact us at
info@athletesforafrica.com.
07/06/2011 23:53
GuluWalk thanks you, and passes the torch - 'Yahoo! Mail'
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