TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT! 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 12. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 18. Procrastinate Now! 19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true) 27. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few!

3-sim card phone available in Uganda

Why carry 6 phones instead of one or two?

Google commits to making internet a part of everyday African life

By Jeremy Daniel: Memeburn Editor

Nick Heller is responsible for New Business Development across Europe, the Middle East and Africa (EMEA) at Google. Based in Zurich, Switzerland, he focuses on new product incubation and exploratory efforts in technology, meta-data licensing, strategic partnerships, special projects, as well as alternative distribution models for existing and new business initiatives.

Heller took the time to sit down and discuss Google’s forecast for Africa, how he manages his multiple projects, and his vision of the next generation of mobile phones.

Memeburn: Google is innovating at a furious rate right now with new products launching almost every week. How does it feel to be part of that?

Nick Heller: Obviously everyone wants to be successful, but we at Google also believe in being innovative, trusted and ethical — and ultimately making a big positive impact in the world.

MB: How does one best manage a creative / innovative environment when good ideas are coming in from every corner?

NH: Focusing on the user is one of the core tenets of product development at Google. Moreover, we believe that open systems lead to more innovation, value, and freedom of choice for consumers, and a vibrant, profitable, and competitive ecosystem for businesses. On that basis, we manage innovation as it relates to our core strategy making the world’s information accessible and useful and with a focus on open systems that will ultimately benefit the end user.

MB: What’s the best thing about your job?

NH: The work we undertake at Google can have a direct positive impact on the world at large. It is challenging and in turn, stimulating, making a difference.

MB: And the worst?

NH: Managing the constant influx of opportunities.

MB: How seriously is Google taking the emergence of Africa as a commercial and innovation magnet?

NH: Google is indeed serious about Africa on both fronts, and our strategy is to get users online by developing an accessible, relevant, vibrant and self-sufficient internet ecosystem. We see huge opportunity here.

MB: What is Google’s African strategy?

NH: So, just to expand on the answer above, Google’s mission in Africa is to make the internet an integral part of everyday life in Africa and strengthening the internet ecosystem, by increasing its relevance and usefulness, eliminating access barriers for potential users, and developing products that are meaningful for the countries in the region.

We are also enabling Africans to develop locally meaningful products with things like: iGoogle (allowing developers to create gadgets), maps API (allowing them to leverage our Maps products to build other apps and websites), the Android platform (an excellent opportunity for them to develop Android apps), Chrome (for the development of brower-based applications),App Engine and our cloud offerings.

MB: Do you think the mobile web could be a ‘game-changer’ for Africa?

NH: For many people in Africa, the mobile is the first point of access to the internet. Mobile technology provides a more cost effective way to get online, and therefore can be a significant driver of economic and social good. We’ve focused on creating products that provide utility and real value for the end user.

For instance, the Google Tips product answers health and agriculture related queries to users in Uganda via SMS, thereby providing accessibility to all mobile users, even those without internet access. Another example is Gmail/ Chat SMS, launched recently in Ghana, Senegal and Kenya, which allows mobile users to chat with desktop Gmail users via SMS, thereby addressing a social need and bridging the mobile and internet worlds. For more advanced mobile users with an Android device, we’ve recently launched the Android Market in Kenya, which is beginning to spark the local Apps ecosystem.

The mobile web will be a key enabler for finance and commerce, social interactions and health, and Google wants to be on the forefront of these developments. For more information about Google’s efforts in Africa, please take a look at our blog.

MB: What will the mobile phone of the future look like?

NH: As the speed and reliability of connectivity increases, and the cost of sophisticated ‘superphone’ devices continues to plummet, the next generation of mobile computing is beginning to emerge. The unique features and sensors on these sophisticated devices such as voice, image, touch and location combined with data and the power of cloud computing, offer incredible opportunities for value creation.

MB: What’s the most exciting project in front of you right now?

NH: Our focus on empowering Africa with the next generation of mobile computing is a project of consequence.

MB: Do you see much innovation coming from emerging markets?

NH: In most cases, creativity loves constraint, and therefore a lot of innovation comes from emerging markets. Often times the most creative solution is uncovered because of the lack of resources. Once the internet begins to penetrate further into Africa, we envisage incredible developments for the technology community stay tuned!

　

　

8 Year Old View of God

THIS IS FABULOUS!!!

It was written by an 8-year-old named Danny Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista , CA .

He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to 'explain God.' I wonder

if any of us could have done as well?

[ ..... and he had such an assignment, in California , and someone published it,

I guess miracles do happen ! ... ]

EXPLANATION OF GOD:

'One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die,

so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grownups,

just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn't

have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave

that to mothers and fathers.'

'God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on,

since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime.

God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he

hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought

of a way to turn it off.'

'God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy.

So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking

for something they said you couldn't have.'

'Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in

Chula Vista . At least there aren't any who come to our church.'

'Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and

performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God.

They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him But he was good

and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were

doing and to forgive them and God said O.K.'

'His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth

so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven.

So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things

which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of

himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important.'

'You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked

out so one of them is on duty all the time.'

'You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's

anybody you want to make happy, it's God!

Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach.

This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway.'

'If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because

your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to

know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you

get thrown into real deep water by big kids.'

'But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God

put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases.

And...that's why I believe in God.'

Why Do We Shout In Anger?

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'


Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.