Monday, September 20, 2010

Understanding what marketing is pliz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Professor at one of the IIM's ( INDIA )

was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-

1 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2 You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
"He's very rich. Marry him ." - That's Advertising

3 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say:
"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me ." - That's Telemarketing

4 You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and
straighten your tie,
you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of
the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:
By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" -That's Public Relations

5 You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says:
You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face .
- That's Customer Feedback

7 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her
husband.
- That's demand and supply gap

8 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say anything, another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you
marry me?"
and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your
market share

9 You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say:
"I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction
for entering new markets

Friday, September 17, 2010

This should brighten your day

.



I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.


I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.


Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.



I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore..
I've even earned the right to be wrong.


So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Fine Advice


ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO ... Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you
want.

FOUR . When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX ... Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN.. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't
have much.

NINE . Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only
way to live life completely.

TEN. . In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile
and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great
risk.


FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson !

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others;
and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN... Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship..

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to
correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone.. The caller will hear it in your
voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Old, but still vey scintillating

Ponder…………………

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry
is Restricted!

Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.

Why is $ex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...

Q:
What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.

Q:
Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.

Q:
What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it is SHOWTIME!

Advantages of having an affair with a married women.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell and there is no
wedding bell!

My dad told me that if
Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise . Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Dangerous Foods you Consume!

DELICIOUS: Such foodstuff could be nice when being

eaten but the after-effects could be drastic to the consumer.

PHOTO BY JOSEPH KIGGUNDU (The Monitor)


What you should not consume in large amounts

Soda – An average can of soda has 10 teaspoons of sugar, 150 calories, 30 to 55 mg of caffeine, artificial food colours and sulphites. Diet sodas have the even-more-unhealthy artificial sweeteners. A major part of the problem is that sodas have become a staple in many people’s diets. A study in the American journal, Pediatrics, found that 56 percent to 85 percent of children consume at least one soft drink a day, and 20 percent of adolescent males drink four or more sodas a day.

Potato chips/French fries – These popular snack foods contain acrylamide, a known carcinogen and neurotoxin that is formed when foods are baked or fried at high temperatures. Doctors estimate that acrylamide causes several thousand cancers per year in Americans worldwide.

Doughnuts – Tasty, yes. But break a doughnut down and you’ll find nothing more than refined sugar and flour, artificial flavours and partially hydrogenated oil that’s loaded with trans fats. They have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

White Bread – Foods made of mostly white flour are just empty calories and carbohydrates. Don’t be fooled by wheat bread, either. You should be looking for whole wheat bread.

Coffee – Need a pick-me-up in the morning? Studies show that a fresh apple and a glass of water can actually do this in a more healthy, natural way. Let your poor adrenal glands get some rest by laying off the coffee.

Sugar – One could write a book about the unhealthy side effects of a diet high in sugar. It is hidden is many processed foods so the last thing you should do is keep extra sugar on the table. Use it very sparingly, in fact.

Salt – Excess sodium is no good for you, so take a stand and banish salt from your table. There are healthy alternatives to spicing up bland food.

http://www.monitor.co.ug/SpecialReports/-/688342/1008658/-/u776u3/-/index.html

Who will take the son?


A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had
 everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would
 often sit together and admire the great works of art.









When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very 
courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The
 father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.




About a month later, just before Christmas,
there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a 
large package in his hands.
He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your 
son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying 
me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died 
instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The 
young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not
 really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to 
have this.'











The father
opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young
 man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the 
personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the
 eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man
 and offered to pay him for the picture.. 'Oh, no sir, I could never 
repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came
 to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he 
showed them any of the other great works he had collected.





The man died a few months later....

There was to be a great auction
 of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over
seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one 
for their collection.

 On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded
 his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son.
 Who will bid for this picture? '

There was silence.



Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the 
famous paintings. Skip this one. But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting? 
Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'

Another voice angrily.. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came 
to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts.. Get on with the

 real bids!

But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?' 
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the 
longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the 
painting...' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
'We have $10, who will bid $20?'





'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!'









A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection! 'The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.
'What about the paintings? '

'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of 
a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that 
stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be 
auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire
 estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything!

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the
 auctioneer, His message today is: 'The son, the son, who'll take the
 son? '
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.

3 Wise Women???

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